When a shop assistant says “When you’re ready” and prompts you to tap your card you should:
a) physically tap the card (not your forehead)
b) whistle dixie for 30 secs THEN tap the card on the console
c) all of the above
When a shop assistant says “What can I get you?” you should:
a) ask for her phone number
b) ask for a million dollars
c) all of the above
When a shop assistant says “How would you like to pay?” you should:
a) offer to kiss her
b) offer coconuts
c) all of the above
When a shop assistant says “How are you going?” you should:
a) say “by foot”
b) say “by sea”
c) say “by foot AND sea because I can walk on water”
When a shop assistant says “What’s happening?” you should:
a) say “Shit” (cause shit happens)
b) say “I’m talking to you” and should she be a nice 18yo say “Isn’t that nice?”
c) all of the above (although you may get the same sayings back)
