I has been VERY hot recently in Perth.The hot weather drives people outta their minds.There is someone going crazy in the street now! (at 12.30AM) So, here are some weather jokes. A skyhook hooks to what…?A cloud Wether or not it cools off is up to the weather.
Was looking at the stars last night. Saw a heavely body – just like you. I saw urANUS last night… and sunshine shining off it… and a full moon. Back in my day, women were named after farm animals.Chook, bird, deer, cat, duck, PIG!
I saw an assistant from a shop take a large bag of rubbish to the large bin (outside the shop).On the way back she consulted her watch and pressed some buttons on it.I am sure that she was making a record of how long it took her to take the rubbish out. Why? Because, next… Continue reading Observations from an unnamed shopping centre
Do fish sneeze? How much dirt is there in a hole that is 3 feet deep, 6 feet long, and 4 feet wide?None, because a hole does not have any dirt inside If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what do four and five make?Nine Why was six sad?Because seven eight nine Beth’s mother has… Continue reading Dumbass Questions
Don’t you hate those “talk to the camera” shows where the presenter says:“We are ALL working hard on the house”I say: Bullshit! YOU are talking crap to us. “This view is amazing!”I say: Only YOU can see it, I can’t, so rub it in ya’ prick. “We hope you enjoy the following show”I say: And… Continue reading Talky Shows
A washing machine A woman
Most programming languages have IF/THEN statements. Some examples include: IF mobile phones are banned THEN there will be riots in the streetsIF you stir the shit too vigourously THEN you’ll be sure to get the shit on yourselfIF you say to your mrs that Wednesday is “hump day” THEN you’ll be sure to get a… Continue reading If then statements
At an ex-workplace there were nicknames given to the employees. Lurch – He was very tall Screech – He had a high pitched voice Stretch – After work, the only stretching he did was stretching to reach for a beer Gossip – He was always talking around those who were trying to work The “Old… Continue reading Dumbass Nicknames
At an unnamed takeaway food shop I noticed a sign saying “We are kind to the environment”. I also noted the following: Their food was wrapped in aluminium foil – aluminium found by digging the earth for the metal and made in a smelter run by coal or gas The food was then placed in… Continue reading We are kind to the environment – so is my ass…