Author: socialc4_simonperth

Selling ice-cubes to Eskimos. Don’t forget the yellow ice cubes….

“Come in, come in” said the psychiatrist. “Take a seat and WE will be with you in a moment”.I looked around.Only the psychiatrist and myself were present in the room….

I do not have a mobile phone. I don’t want one, I don’t need one.I refuse to buy a phone and pay the fees just in case someone mightring me. So how do you get in touch with me? Send me a fax.

Knowing that I have stubbed my big toe on a piece of furniture, a response has been to swear.You, of course, dear reader, are more disciplined and would not swear. Suffice to say MY swear jar is full. Now I have to take it down the bank. FUCK!

Sometimes, at a dentist office, the dentist will apply a gas that will deaden the pain of an operation.This gas sometimes loosens the tongue. This is a problem for a voluntary Tourettes syndrome sufferer.

Olive OIL come from olives therefore baby OIL comes from?

This campaign slogan “Dare to be Different” wasn’t very successful. I wonder why?

A sandwich bar makes sandwiches, a coffee bar makes coffee, a juice bar makes juice therefore a milk bar makes milk. Sounds logical to me.

In order to deter persons from obtaining cash from my bankcard, I have implemented a very long Personal Identification Number. This number is 8 digits long! This, of course, does not deter a person from obtaining goods or services less than $100. This, in itself, is a concern, but I digress… How did I do… Continue reading My PIN is……

There’s a hole in the bucket,Dear Liza, dear Liza,Then mend it, dear Henry,Dear Henry, mend it. With what shall I mend it,Dear Liza, dear Liza?With a straw, then, dear Henry,Dear Henry, with a straw. If the straw is too long,Then, dear Liza, dear Liza?Then cut it, dear Henry,Dear Henry, cut it. With what shall I… Continue reading Holy Martha