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“Come in, come in” said the psychiatrist. “Take a seat and WE will be with you in a moment”.I looked around.Only the psychiatrist and myself were present in the room….

I do not have a mobile phone. I don’t want one, I don’t need one.I refuse to buy a phone and pay the fees just in case someone mightring me. So how do you get in touch with me? Send me a fax.

Knowing that I have stubbed my big toe on a piece of furniture, a response has been to swear.You, of course, dear reader, are more disciplined and would not swear. Suffice to say MY swear jar is full. Now I have to take it down the bank. FUCK!

Sometimes, at a dentist office, the dentist will apply a gas that will deaden the pain of an operation.This gas sometimes loosens the tongue. This is a problem for a voluntary Tourettes syndrome sufferer.

Olive OIL come from olives therefore baby OIL comes from?

This campaign slogan “Dare to be Different” wasn’t very successful. I wonder why?

A sandwich bar makes sandwiches, a coffee bar makes coffee, a juice bar makes juice therefore a milk bar makes milk. Sounds logical to me.

In order to deter persons from obtaining cash from my bankcard, I have implemented a very long Personal Identification Number. This number is 8 digits long! This, of course, does not deter a person from obtaining goods or services less than $100. This, in itself, is a concern, but I digress… How did I do… Continue reading My PIN is……

There’s a hole in the bucket,Dear Liza, dear Liza,Then mend it, dear Henry,Dear Henry, mend it. With what shall I mend it,Dear Liza, dear Liza?With a straw, then, dear Henry,Dear Henry, with a straw. If the straw is too long,Then, dear Liza, dear Liza?Then cut it, dear Henry,Dear Henry, cut it. With what shall I… Continue reading Holy Martha

In deepest, darkest places of your home, they live. When it is dark, they slink, they pitter patter as they walk across the room.They live in the cupboard, in the food hamper, in the food and sometime in the fridge.Why do cockroaches live in the toaster or microwave?I would say because of the heat and… Continue reading Cockroach Toast